Who am I

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this but I have a lot on my mind and want to try and get some out of my mind.

I wear a lot of different "hats" in my life. Sometimes I'm the guy everyone can turn to and sometimes I'm a stoner and sometimes I'm the stereotypical fat guy who just eats all day and sometimes I'm the struggling writer and sometimes I'm douche bag and sometimes I'm a perv and sometimes I'm the shy guy who wishes he could ask out the girl of his dreams and sometimes I don't know who I am...

All I know is that at this very moment I'm laying in bed with my hand down my pants trying to not let the fact that my life SUCKS get to me to much.

Though as I finish this post I realize that maybe it already has...

I wish I had some weed.

I have a problem

I'm stoned again. I've been eating nothing but crap since my diet "restarted" a few days ago. Fortunately I'm out of weed. So maybe tomorrow I can get back on track, since I won't be able to get anymore pot until February.

Here's hoping for a brighter tomorrow because today is filled with a lot of darkness.

I'm sorry

It's been a long time since I posted, and if there's anyone out there reading this I'm sorry that I've been neglecting both this blog and my diet.

For the past month all I've been doing is smoking a lot of pot and eating a lot of crap (damn munchies).

Tomorrow is December 1st and it's time to get my shit together. So here's to a new new beginning, and here's hoping to this being the last beginning.

Break Time

I'm going on vacation tomorrow so I'm gonna take a break from the diet. I'm not going to go crazy but if I sit around counting points I won't have as good a time.

Going Well

It's been a couple of days since I start weight watchers and it's been pretty good so far. The biggest problem I'm having is that I'm eating constantly. While I don't mind the eating it just doesn't make sense that eating like this will help me lose weight. I know it will it's just gonna take some getting used to.

I weigh in on Sunday so I'll see in a few days how things are going

Is this the end...

I've hit the point were I just don't feel like what I'm doing is working. So I'm changing plans. I'm now using weight watchers to help me. Since I know their plan has worked for others, it should be able to work for me as well.

Is this the end for me? HELL NO!! This is just a new beginning

Sick

I have a wicked cold and eating for some reason usually makes me feel better. This time it did not...

Weight In

Gonna take a break from the scale. I'm tired of seeing it not move. So no weight in this week. We'll see if I'm up to it next week.

Calories 9/20-9/26

Frustrated

Haven't posted in awhile so I thought I should.

I'm walking more and lifting more, but I still am seeing no change. It's beginning to get very frustrating. I'm thinking of trying out weight watchers to see if that makes a difference, but unfortunately I'm not optimistic.

Home or away

Doing a lot of eating out this week. So I'm going to have to watch what I eat while I'm at these places.

I also bought 2 15 pound weights today and worked out a little with them. It felt really good.

Calories 9/13-9/19

Shrimp genocide

Red lobster yesterday was great. My friends and I went and ate oodles of shrimp and I stayed below my calorie count. It was also convenient that my lose it app knew the calorie count for everything I ate.

Did some exercising today and am now relaxing and watching Wall Street. I'd say this weekend has been pretty good for me.

Irish Stew and lots of shrimp

Yesterday was the 1/2 to St. Patricks day party at my local Pub and I went a little crazy. I ate a lot and drank a LOT. I know the exercising is helping, but I still feel kinda lousy about.

It also doesn't help that I'm going out tonight to Red Lobster for endless shrimp either. At least shrimp are not a lot of calories.

Vitamins and soreness

Worked out again today. Did more then I did on Sunday and I'm not even half as sore as I was then.

I've also started taking a multivitamin and a fiber supplement. I've heard they're important to stay healthy, and I know they can't hurt.

Calories 9/6-9/12

NYC

Still sore from working out on Sunday. I went to hard to fast. I plan on working out tomorrow as long as my legs aren't still throbbing.

I'm getting plenty of exercise today. I went to the city (for those of you not in north Jersey I mean New York) and have been walking around all day. I'm in the museum of natural history now and am in quite a bit of pain, but it's that oh so good pain again.

Sore

I'm sore from working out, but it's sore in the best way possible

Epiphany

So I guess its been pretty obvious the last couple of weeks that I've been "falling off the wagon". Its just been really hard to not be able to see a definitive change through all the hard work I've been doing. That however is all gonna change. I had an epiphany this morning. I can't really explain it but I just kinda feel like I'm back in the game all of a sudden, and honestly my biggest problem right now is beer. Which I am going to have to cut out of my life. This Friday I'm going to be going to this 1/2 way to St Patrick's day party, which I'm obviously going to drink a lot at, but after that no more beer until Halloween.

However, I have started exercising. Its raining today so no walking but I attempted a few push-ups, did some lifting at home. It is a step in the right direction if nothing else.

Calories 8/30-9/5

Bad Week

Unsurprisingly the scale is unchanged because this week has been rough. I've eaten tons of shit I shouldn't have, but nothing to put me over my weekly allotment. So while I feel bad for eating like that I'm glad that I'm still keeping myself a little in check. However unlike me last post said I did not start exercising. However it will change this week. I'm determined to get back on track.

Gross

I just ate some leftover dominos and now I feel gross... That'll teach me to eat shitty food this late at night.

Though, I'm still in my calorie allowance. Which is nice.

Calories 8/23-8/29

My calories for this week

What's next

So the scale is unchanged and I think it's time to take my diet to the next step, exercise. So starting next week I'm going to begin walking around my neighborhood 3 times a week for a half hour. I think the addition of walking will really help me with my goal.

Time to get my skinny jeans

I hop onto the scale for the second time tomorrow and honestly I don't think the numbers gonna change much. Not because I'm not losing weight but because I'm to heavy for my scale still, but honestly I don't even care. For the first time in as long as I can remember my clothes fit better. I have button down shirts I wear for work that now close comfortably and when I sit they don't burst open. It's a glorious feeling.

Having trouble, but in a good way

I'm having trouble reaching 2500 calories today. I've eaten all 3 meals plus a piece of fruit or a yogurt every few hours and I'm only at 2000 calories. It's a good feeling to be satisfied and be under my calories. It means I'm my body is getting used to the diet.

This is a great feeling

Calories 8/16-8/22

This is a photo of my calorie intake for the week from my lose it app

Lying

It's sad that when I cheat I feel the need to lie to both my lose it app and this blog. It's like lying to myself, all it hurts is myself.

Honesty, honesty, honesty. It's the only thing that will get me to my goal.

I stumbled

Last night I realized the my one true weakness, beer. I'm a beer drinker and have a lot of trouble saying no. So last night I had a few and then got the beer munchies and ate a little more then I should last night.

I'm mad at myself but I can't let this affect my diet I need to just continue business as usual and get back to the diet.

Splurging

So it's the first weekend of my diet and I decided saturday was my "splurging" day. I'm not going crazy but instead of staying below my daily allowance I might actually hit it. Which I'm ok with. If I don't allow myself some indulgence this diet will never last.

Problem

It would appear I've hit a major snag. My scale only goes up to 475. So I won't know I've lost anything until I get below that. That means I probably weight more then 500 lbs... I have to succeed on this diet now. Unfortunately I won't know how I'm doing until I lose some weight.

This sucks!

Weight In

I've decided Friday is going to be my weight in day. It makes the most sense because the weekend is going to be the toughest time for me, and I don't want to weight in after a potentially bad night. So I'll post the results by tonight

Seeing is Tasting

I watch a lot of tv. Like 5 or 6 hours minimum. This is bad and I know that, but that is not the point of this post. The problem that I'm having right now is I'm watching food shows and they are all making hungry.

Do I stop watching these shows because they are tempting me, or do I just man up and enjoy the food shows without them. Decisions, decisions...

Made it out safe

I made it through last night safe and sound, and I figured out what happened. So I guess the best way to explain is to talk about the lose it app again.

Lose It's main feature is a calorie counter. Which is great because it tells me my daily allowance (3600), but I think that's a little high so I usually eat around 2500.

This all leads to my problem yesterday. After looking at the app I only ate 1950 calories. Which is low even for the average person. My solution is pay more attention to this a as odd as it seems I need to eat more.

Hungry...

Since lunch I've been feeling kinda hungry all day. I'm not really sure why, I've tried eating a little more fruits and veggies but they don't seem to be helping.

I'm now watching Dexter with my friends and they are munching on random treats.

This is really hard right now...

Shopping complete

Just went shopping for some healthy food and ended up buying a few healthy choice cafe steamers. I tried the beef merlot one and I have to say it was scrumptious. Having one of those for lunch will be perfect because they are tasty, healthy and actually pretty filling.

My feelings continue to improve

Woke up feeling better then yesterday. I never realized how much late night snacking could effect the way I feel in the morning.

What does your food say about you

Day 2 is coming to an end and I realized something. People expect me to always be hungry, and expect me to eat a lot of crap.

The reason this came up was because I went into work today and one of my coworkers was expecting me to get him something from burger king. Now I'm not mad that he wanted me to grab him something cause if I'm going out I wouldn't mind, but it's the assumption that I was going to BK that frustrated me. It just made me realize how much shit I use to eat and how it reflects on me.

I'm still feeling good and I'm just going to use today as a motivator.

Feeling Good

It's the start of day two and I feel pretty good. Going to work soon, just trying to figure out what to pack for lunch. Once I go food shopping this process should be easier

The 1st of 1000 steps

Day one is over, and I feel pretty good. I managed to be way under my allotted calories for the day (though I've heard that's bad also). So my goals for tomorrow are to come a little closer to my daily calories and go food shopping for some healthier foods.

Movie theaters

I love going to the movies with my friends, and I plan on going today. That leads me to face the first of many drastic changes that I must make.

I haven't seen a movie in ages that I didn't have a jumbo popcorn, a jumbo soda and a box of milk duds. I told myself I would not snack anymore so I need to bring a couple of bottles of water and hope they fill the void.

Wish me luck

This is it. My diet is about to begin. I got myself my bottle of water and was going to have a nice healthy bowl of cheerios, but my dad is going to get bagels, and I love bagels. As long as I only have one with a little cream cheese I'll be doing fine. I can do this.

Wish me luck

Lose It

I just downloaded the "lose it" app for my iPhone. It seems to have a lot of helpful tools on it. The main one being a calorie counter. I believe if I use it correctly it can be a huge asset to achieving my goal.

I can't help but feel excited right now. I mean it's been a long time since I really thought about my weight and how to approach it. In the last few years I've basically come to terms with being fat and just thought I'd rather be fat and happy then thin and starving. The problem is I'm fat and unhappy so it's time things changed.

Tomorrow is truly going to be the first day of the rest of my life.

The Rules

For my first post I wanted to layout a couple of rules for myself to ensure that I know what I want and I what I don't want from this whole experience.

1. Stay Positive

I would love to lost all 150 lbs in one week but I know that is not possible or safe. As long as I am continuing towards my goal I have to remember to stay positive. A 1 lb loss is as good as a 10 lb one.

2. Depriving myself can only lead to cravings

I don't have to eliminate everything I just have to make smart choices and use portion control. I can have a slice of pizza every once in awhile. I just can't have FOUR slices.

3. The word snack is going to be eliminated from my vocabulary

Snacking is a big no-no in the dieting world. I have to completely eliminate it if I want to have a chance to reach my goal.

4. Some weeks are going to be better then others

There are some weeks were I'm going to slip off the dieting track and I have to not let those get me down. I just need to remember slipping doesn't always have to mean falling off. I can recover.

5. Drink a lot of water

Most of the time when people feel hungry they are just thirsty. I have to basically always have a bottle/glass of water in my hands.